Police today issued an urgent appeal to the public after a suspected paradigm was seen shifting near Shoreditch High Street sparking local unrest.
Said one onlooker who declined to be named: “At first I wondered what it was that was lurking outside the chicken shop near the tube but then I realised that it was a paradigm shift. One minute everything was like it was, the next it wasn’t at all what it used to be. It was beautiful.”
Some witnesses described the incident as a ‘game-changer’ and there was some confusion over whether the paradigm had actually shifted or the game had changed a bit.
Others were convinced it wasn’t a shifting paradigm at all but an entirely new paradigm. But there was a consensus that something had happened and things would never be the same again.
“This is the apocalypse,” said one. “Forget what you know. If you’re over 25, give up. You’ll never understand this. Wake up, the future’s here, sleepyhead.” He then gathered his trousers up and left.
Another said “You know the game? Well forget it. It’s just changed.”
‘Nothing much happened’
The Police have issued a statement:
“As far as we can tell, nothing much happened, but there are loads of people telling us something did, so we have to investigate. So far everything seems fairly normal but we would like the public to remain vigilant in case this changes.”
Asked about the consequences of the suspected paradigm shift, experts warned against hype and knee-jerk reactions and suggested people look at the evidence before getting too carried away.